Hey there soldier, not so fast. You're a big boy/girl now and you've made it to Tinder, congratulations on that. But there are a few things imperative to making it in the tinder scene here. First things first, if you're under 6ft. your chances are fucked. A successful Tinder profile requires your height to be neatly displayed at the top of your description. Especially in the Netherlands, they're the tallest kids on the global block and fight pretty hard to keep them monster viking genes.
1. Avoid Scammers
Keep a keen eye out for matches too good to be true with a link suggesting you to check out their other social media for 'sexy photos' or a 'good time'. And 'snapneuk' (translation: snapfuck) is also a bullshit scam that promises blueballed young men an easy avenue with which to find a quick hump.
2. Be Weary of the Catfish
This one goes for all locations, but certainly one worth mentioning. To make sure you don't fall victim to the all to common catfish, do your ground work! Get their name and undertake a little social media creeping. Make sure that firstly they're real, and secondly that they're neither 20kgs heavier or of a surprising sex (you laugh now, but it happens).
3. Stay Away from Group Shots
Your primary Tinder profile photo should be a picture of only you. No group shots here. People aren’t on Tinder to play “Where’s Waldo.” It is perfectly okay to have a group shot in the mix of profile images, because it shows you have your own social life. Just make sure you arrange that shot near the end of your photo sequence.
4. Use a Call-to-Action
Your bio should be used for one purpose, and one purpose only: to start conversations. In marketing, we call this a call-to-action with one objective, but you can call it whatever you want. For example: "Would you rather eat pizza everyday for the rest of your life, or never eat pizza again?". Depending on the match's answer, suggesting to get pizza together could be a perfect first date.
5. Tinder Moves Fast
Tinder moves fast. We get dozens of messages every single day. If you get a conversation started, and things seem to be going well, try to move the conversation off Tinder as soon as possible. If you let a conversation fizzle out, rest assured that your message is going to get buried overnight. Although you can try to rekindle the conversation at a later date, it’s much smarter to move the conversation off Tinder as soon as you’ve built up enough trust and rapport to get the digits.
6. Don't ask for a Tour Guide
Yeah maybe you do just want to explore a new city with a friendly stranger. Probably not, but even so, saying you're looking to be shown around your new matches town isn't exactly the most flattering invite.
- Never double message
- Send a message that stands out
- Optimize your profile for what you want
- Use photos that show you're good in different situations
- No dick pics. Nobody wants a dick pic
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